Unsnag’s Origin Story
I didn’t create Unsnag from a plan or a whiteboard. I created it because I needed it.
It started with me and my daughter, just 1.5 at the time, splashing in the pool before dinner. We were laughing, playing, and the plan was simple: my husband would finish his shower upstairs, then come down to get her so I could go get ready.
All I had to do was wait. Be present in the fun.
But instead, I did what I’d always done: overfunction. That mental gymnastics routine so many moms know by heart — anticipating, preparing, making sure everything ran smoothly before anyone even asked. I didn’t want her dripping when he walked out, so I rushed. I wrapped her in a towel, turned for a second to dry myself, and in that split second, she bolted.
I reached to grab her and she fell. Her tiny mouth hit the concrete. A chipped tooth. A little blood. She was okay. But inside, I broke.
The guilt and shame were immediate, and they didn’t stop once she was calm in my arms. That night, after she was asleep, I was still replaying it. Over and over. My mind was merciless: You’re a terrible mother. Everyone saw. You should have done it differently. You’ll never stop feeling this.
I tried to fix it in the ways I knew. Reason with myself. Rehearse what I’d say if anyone brought it up. Push it down and move on. Nothing worked.
So, almost as a last resort, I tried something else. I stopped fighting the spiral. I sat with it — the racing heart, the knot in my stomach, the heat in my face. I let myself feel it, even though it felt unbearable. And eventually, beneath all the noise, a truth surfaced:
It wasn’t really about the tooth. It was about the block I kept running into — the fear of judgment. The pressure to do everything perfectly so no one could ever think less of me.
That was the very first time I walked myself through what would later become Unsnag. And to my surprise, something shifted. The spiral that would have consumed me for weeks softened in a single night. And the block that had run my life for years — fear of judgment — cracked open. I could finally see it, feel it, and let it move.
A little while later, it happened again — but in a completely different kind of moment.
This time, someone I loved was in crisis. Not a skinned knee or a chipped tooth, but the kind of emotional intensity that fills a hospital room. And just like so many times before, my body froze. I cared deeply, but I couldn’t be present the way I wanted to.
This had been my pattern for years. I’d show up in the big moments — births, deaths, hard news — and feel this block. Like no matter how much I loved, I couldn’t access it in real time. I’d tried everything: journaling, therapy, mindset shifts, energy work. Nothing touched it.
But that day, I opened Unsnag again. I slowed down. I felt what was happening inside me, instead of forcing myself to perform support on the outside. And what surfaced was something old and familiar: a younger me, carrying everyone else’s emotions long before I had the tools. The belief I’d been reliving was clear: It’s your job to make it okay. If you can’t, you’ve failed.
The moment I saw it, the freeze cracked. I didn’t need to force myself into being the perfect supporter. I just needed to show up honestly, as me.
That’s how Unsnag was born.
Not from theory. Not from a whiteboard. But from raw, messy, ordinary life — pool decks and hospital rooms, spirals I couldn’t outthink, feelings I couldn’t avoid.
Unsnag became my way back to myself. A practice of slowing down, noticing when a block is surfacing, and giving it enough space to shift.
And here’s the thing: the spirals still happen. The blocks still show up. But now they don’t run my life. What used to take months to untangle moves through in hours or days.
That’s the heart of it. Unsnag isn’t about fixing yourself. It’s about meeting the blocks when they appear, feeling them instead of managing them, and letting them move.
Because once you do that, you’re no longer stuck inside them. You’re free to move forward. You’re free to create the life you actually want.
